Being over “the hump” has been interesting. From the start of it all at the age of 45 until now I never really felt like I was going through anything. Realizing now, during that specific period I purchased my third motorcycle, my Camaro, and I was trying (desperately) to get in good enough shape to continue Breakdancing…I would have to say there was “something” going on there.
I was thinking about how now that I’m 50 years old my midlife technically is over. But my wife and I have a three-year-old child, almost 4. So is it really over? I know I’m only going to live another 40 years maximum but it’s just something to contemplate so I thought I’d put a few words out here ins the blog world.
I figure I’m one of the few men in this world who actually knows there was something that I went through. Most of my life I was late doing everything. Late getting married, late graduating from college, late having kids…well, kid. I don’t consider any of this a bad thing. I did a lot of stuff people do after they retire while I was still young and could enjoy it. Not that retirement time would be a bad time to do “things.” I just don’t believe that I’m ever going to actually get to retire.
My wife and I both purchased our houses around the time when the real estate agents were doing their worst to the public. We tried to hold on to our homes but lost both because each was too small to start a family in and we needed to sell them to join our lives together. Being that the economy tanked we weren’t able to sell. Although buying one was REALLY easy at that time. So at one point, yes, we had three mortgages. Oh, it was horrible. Needless to say, we weren’t the best in class when it came to a prominent financial situation. My current situational understanding regarding my retiring before I turn 70 is that it would be a bad thing.
I’m just glad that I am now feeling that a “settle down” situation has started in my life. I smoked cigarettes starting at the age of 12. I worked as a DJ from the age of 17 so I began drinking well before I was old enough. I partied with drug dealers girlfriends. I dated well outside my age range and I lived an overactive life. I continued smoking until my wife and I got together. She “made” me quit, which was a good thing. I bought a TV with the money I saved during that first year. Now I haven’t smoked in over a decade.
I slowed down on the drinking and am trying to get into better shape. As Kathleen Madigan says, “I’m just trying to pull a ‘Hail Mary” out of my butt in this last quarter. Currently I walk about two miles a day and run a 5k at night. I’m still overweight, but I’m trying to change my diet to compensate and actually get to where I look like I feel, because oddly enough, I feel great – most days.
The home we bought is starting to come into some shape too. At least we know what needs to be done and are starting to make plans to do it. The goal is to leave behind an investment for our kid. To let her get a jump start on life. One we never had. I guess the whole thing about the mid-life crisis being over is understanding there is an end in sight. Not wanting it to come, but preparing for it anyway.
Personally, I would love to hear from some other people about their situations. Maybe about their crisis’. Some of the silly things people bought, sold, tried, or did. I know this blog isn’t a revelation of any type, but it’s just something I wanted to say.